Sink or Swim

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“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.”

Joseph Campbell

Welcome to my first post.

If you’ve read my “About” page, you’ll know my main mission for this blog. It’s all about helping people. Lately I’ve learned many lessons in my life, lessons I wish I’d learned a long time ago. Now I want to help you by sharing these experiences.

In this post I want to talk about transforming what we might judge as a negative life event into a positive force for change.  Instead of sinking into the depths of panic and fear, we can swim to the light.

Let’s begin with an idea:

Bad luck can sometimes be good luck in disguise. We just don’t know it until we look back.

Think about it.

How many times has a life event devastated you, yet later, with new perspective, you feel intense gratitude for that same experience?

Perhaps something good came out of it. Perhaps you learned something about yourself or it nudged you in a different direction. Like the time you didn’t score your “dream” job, but later found a more rewarding career on an unplanned path. Or the time you stressed yourself out because something made you late for an important event, only to discover you dodged a fatal crash on the freeway.

What if every time something “bad” happens we take a different approach? Instead of reacting with fear and fretting about things that are out of our control, we could ask ourselves what we can learn from the event. It can also help to tell ourselves that things happen for a reason. We might not know the reason right now. But one day we may understand and be grateful for the changes.

Like everyone, I’ve had some “bad luck” in my life. It was a time of loss, a time of fear. A time when life stripped away everything I thought was secure.

When the Great Recession struck, all the material things I thought were safe collapsed around me, one by one. Every time we lost something, I clung in fear to what we had left.

When sales sank at our business, I told myself, At least we still have a beautiful home. Soon we had to sell that beautiful home in a fire sale.

But I didn’t give up. When it looked as though we might lose everything, I told myself, At least we’re all healthy. The next day my husband, Brian, was diagnosed with a melanoma.

That’s when I fell to my knees.I didn’t know what to think anymore. I didn’t know what to believe.

Perhaps you have been at this stage in your life too. Perhaps the same questions were running through your mind:

Why is this happening? Why now? Why me? 

Looking back, I think I know why this happened, and I am filled with gratitude. But at the time, I was overcome with panic and fear. It wasn’t until I took a deep breath, and looked at my life in a different way, that I saw light in the darkness.

After months of fear-induced nausea, I made a choice to stop acting like a victim. Instead I vowed to use those “negative” events to make a positive change. It was a simple change but it had a powerful impact. And I quickly learned I could apply it to every facet of my life.

This small change led to big things. It helped me simplify my life and live my dream of moving to a beautiful, tropical island with my family.

Stay tuned and I’ll share it with you in my next post.

Karen